Shattered Dreams
by dr-lu-delgado
Summary: Please R&R! P.S. Some Of The Characters Are Out Of Charector. Ok Everyone Chapter 9&10 Is Up And Runnin! This Story Is About Lu And Her New Found Troubles After The Rape. The Story Still Is Rated P.G.13
1. Summer Of 1992

Twisted Events Chapter 1-Summer Of 1992 A Mix Between Strong Medicine And Providence  
  
This story starts out unlike many of the other Strong Medicine or Providence stories you may or may not have seen or heard, you know a dramatic hospital scene or a hearty love scene? No this story is different for two reasons.....The first reason it is different is that it is a mix story. It has Lu, Dana, Lana, Peter, Dr. Jackson, and Nick form Strong Medicine and then it has Syd, Joanie, and Lynda from Providence. The second reason this story is so different form many is that it starts out in the past and then jumps to the current year 2004. We start off when Joanie is only 13 (and in labor) and Syd is 24. Were beginning where Syd has just delivered the new baby and has placed the girl into her birth mothers arms.  
  
"Joanie I know your feeling strongly for this baby right now" Sydney started "But I really feel that you shouldn't grow too attached to her. The more attached to her you get the harder it will be to give her up in the end."  
  
"I just spent 6 hours in labor and you choose now to remind me that I may never get to see my baby girl again as long as she may live.?.?.?.?" Joanie smarted off angrily  
  
"Actually kid that's not true. Do you remember our cousin Louisa Delgado?"  
  
"The smart-mouthed doctor from Philly?"  
  
"Yes that would be the one, well Joanie she's agreed to adopt your baby for you."  
  
Syd gives Joanie and the baby a moment alone while she went and checked on another patient. When she came back she found Joanie gently holding the baby and talking softly to her. The baby's hand was wrapped around Joanie's pinky.  
  
"Hey little baby. I'm your mommy. I know you don't understand this now but maybe when you get older you will understand why I am doing this to you." Joanie told the baby with love "I love you sweetie. I love you very much but I just cant take care of you the way a good mommy should. I can't take care of you because I'm only a kid myself. You know the whole nine months you were inside of me I kept telling myself "she's not mine" "she belongs to Lu" "I cant love her the way I should" "I'm doing the right thing" although I knew that no matter who raised you that you would always be mine. I'm giving you to a new mommy who can take better care of you. She can love you and give you everything that you want and need. She can give you so many things that I can't. good toys, good food, good clothes, love and affection, attention. The whole nine months you were inside me I hated you. I hated you because I was afraid that if I started to love you then it would hurt to much to let go of you and I would wind up not making the right choice. But when you were born and I saw you I knew that I was making the right choice by giving you up. I knew that I could never love you and give you what you needed, and that this perfect miracle in my arms needed to be with someone who could give her a better life. I'm doing this because I love you, and I want you to have the best."  
  
Syd walks into the room holding a baby pink folder and a black get pen.  
  
"Honey I need you to sign these papers. They are simply saying that you give up your parental rights to this baby and that Lu will be her mother ." Syd explains to her little sister.  
  
24 Hours Later  
  
Dr. Louisa Delgado walks into the room where Sydney and Joanie, and the new baby she is about to adopt is waiting for her to get to.  
  
"Hey Syd, Joanie how are you feeling" Lu says cheerfully  
  
The young mother makes no response. She is too busy reassuring the new born child that she would be ok and that not to worry because her new mommy and new brother would take real good care of her. Despite her gentle tone with the baby Joanie's temper was rising. She wanted to hurry and do this ASAP so it would be easier for both her and the baby laying in her arms.  
  
BEEP BEEP BEEP!  
  
"Look I'm sorry Lu but I have to go ER needs me but I promise I will be back ASAP" Syd says in a rush as she grabs her bag  
  
"Its fine Syd I know the feeling it happens to me in the middle of conversations all the time when I'm at the clinic." Lu responds as she settles into the hard chair.  
  
Sydney leaves in a hurry and Lu settles down to talk to the mother of her new baby girl. Lu starts to talk to Joanie in a gentle tone not wanting to frighten the sleeping baby.  
  
"Joanie you know that you can come see the baby anytime you want to right?" Lu asks Joanie  
  
Joanie responds in a sarcastic tone  
  
"Yeah like Syd's really going to go for that"  
  
"Whatever Joanie I am doing you a favor! Raising a baby's not exactly a walk in the park! It takes take's money, a job, shelter, you have to give the baby food, love, attention, you have to keep her clean, But most important you have to love her! If you don't do all these things then she will be taken by the state and will be "Just another baby the state has to raise." Believe me Joanie your baby is much better off with me then in the system! Do you know how hard it is to get your baby out of the system?"  
  
Joanie's temp is now at full rage. Lu tries to keep her cool with the angry 13 year old and get up in her face and go off at her its hard but she manages.  
  
"YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY FAVORES BITCH! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO ADOPT THIS KID!" Joanie yells in Lu's face "No you didn't Joanie but I was asked and she is going to be my baby and I want her to know whom her real mommy is" Lu says coolly  
  
"SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU SHE DOSENT EVEN LOOK LIKE ME! SHE HAS YOUR DARK HAIR , DARK EYES,MEDIUM SHADED SKIN, YOU WONT HAVE A PROBLAM IF YOU JUST DON'T TELL HER ABOUT ME!"  
  
"One day I am going to have to tell her! One day this little angel will wonder who her mommy is and who her daddy is. What do I tell her then?"  
  
"YOU'RE HER MOMMY STUPID! I DON'T KNOW WHO HER DADDY IS ! JUST TAKE HER AND LEAVE! SHE DOSENT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME! WHAT THE 'CHEEP FLOOSY'? THE 'GIRL WHO GOT KNOCKED UP BEFORE SHE EVEN FINISHED MIDDLE SCHOOL' THE 'SLUT' THE 'WHORE' THE 'TWO DOLLOR PROSTITUTE' SHE DOSENT NEED TO KNOW OF ME IM HORRIBLE JUST TAKE HER AND FORGET ALL ABOUT ME! RAISE HER TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE HER MOMMY AND SHE HAS NO OTHER! SHE'S YOURS JUST TAKE HER AND LOVE HER LIKE SHE WAS YOUR OWN......DON'T TELL HER THE TRUTH! DON'T EVER TELL HER THE TRUTH! "  
  
Lu hands Joanie a card with her work number cell number address and home number so that she could write and or come visit if she wanted to see the baby. Syd comes back into the room just as Joanie is handing the baby over to Lu, and Lu sees the baby and studies her little face for the first time.  
  
"Joanie she does look just like me" Lu gasps surprised  
  
"I told you so!" Joanie responds rudely  
  
"I need you to sign these papers Lu" Syd states as she hands Lu a clipboard and a pen "(handing Lu page 1) this is the final adoption paper. It is saying that you are taking full responsibility and custody of this child and Joanie has no prenatal rights to this child after you sign these papers. (Syd hands Lu page 2) this is your baby's medical papers and shot records. ( hands Lu page 3) This is you baby's birth certificate, I need you to sign it and then I need you to give this baby a name"  
  
"Do you want to help me pick out a name for the baby Joanie?" Lu asked hopefully  
  
"NO! I TOLD YOU SHE'S NOT MINE! I DON'T WANT HER TO HAVE ANY CONNECTIONS TO ME!" Joanie screams at the top of her lungs to Lu  
  
Lu had a shocked look on her face  
  
"I've had just about enough of your attitude young lady"  
  
Lu holds the small baby close feeling that the baby shouldn't be exposed to such anger and hate. She stares into the baby's huge brown eyes and gently touches her feather soft hair. Lu talks to the baby in a loving motherly tone before she decides to name her Mary Jane Delgado aka MJ  
  
"What did you decide to name her?" Syd asks curiously  
  
"Mary Jane Delgado"  
  
"Beautiful Name"  
  
"I thought so"  
  
Lu and Syd strap the baby into her new car seat and then carry her out to Lu's car. After making sure that the baby was secure Lu drove off to Philly where she knew that friends and family would be awaiting the arrival of the new baby girl . 


	2. Care Bear Mania

Twisted Events Chapter 2-Care Bear Mania  
  
In a blink of an eye it is four years later and MJ has grown up to be quite a pretty little girl. Every time Lu looked into her daughter's eyes she saw herself as a child. She knew that she had done the right thing by not telling MJ about her real mommy and what had happened. Although Syd calls 2 times every month to talk to MJ and to check up on her Lu hasn't heard form Joanie not once. She is living up to what she said in the hospital and staying out of this child's life. Lu is drawn away from her thoughts by MJ tugging on her skirt trying to get her attention.  
  
"Mommy! (in a whining tone) MOMMY!"  
  
Lu whom had been thinking really about all that had happened over the past four years snaps back to reality and answers her young daughter.  
  
"What do you need MJ?"  
  
"(whining) Mommy I cant find Marc!"  
  
"What have I told you about whining MJ?"  
  
"I don't know"  
  
"Don't whine! Did you check outside and in his room?"  
  
"Yes, but mommy he isn't there!"  
  
Lu picks MJ up and spins her around 5 times  
  
"hum maybe he's hiding if I recall correctly its somebody's birthday today! Who could that be?"  
  
"(very excited) Me Mommy its me! Its my birthday today .......Marc said he would take me to the Zoo because you have to work today. So he said I could have a party with the aminals.  
  
"That's right I do have to work but do you want to see your surprise first?"  
  
"yeah! Yeah! Mommy! What is it? What is it?  
  
"what did you say you wanted?"  
  
"A Care Bear room mommy?"  
  
"Yup go and see"  
  
MJ runs into her room to find that it had been completely redone in Care Bear. Her new Care Bear bed had Care Bear Sheets, Pillowcases, Blankets and Teddies , There were Care Bear curtains on the windows. Her room had been completely redone in Care Bear.  
  
"Do you like it?" Lu asked her totally stunned daughter  
  
"(running to her mom and giving her a hug) I LOVE IT MOMMY THANK YOU!" "I have to go to work now" Lu started regretfully "MJ sweetie Marc is going to take you to the zoo (hands Marc two fifty dollar bills) Here's money to get in and then you and MJ can spend the rest on food and souvenirs. Have fun and Happy Birthday MJ."  
  
"Thank you mommy I love you!"  
  
"I love you too angel. Be a good girl for Marc."  
  
"I will I promise"  
  
"Oh Marc! I almost forgot don't forget to drop MJ off at Cindy Lu's house today at 4:30."  
  
Marc gave his Mom a look and then answered  
  
"Don't worry about MJ mom I've got it all under control." 


	3. Another Day At RWHC

Twisted Events Chapter 3- Another Day At RWHC At Lana's Desk  
  
Lu walks into the clinic 1hr late. She had gotten off to a late start. After she had gotten the kids ready and off to the zoo she had to get herself ready. She had to take a shower and get dressed do her hair and brush her teeth. Which takes an average additional 45 minutes and then the clinic is 15 minutes away from her house. Running her an hour late. Dana wasn't going to be happy.  
  
Lu got to work and hurried to her office where she put on her white lab coat and then proceeded to Lana's desk to get her assignments for the day.  
  
"What do you have for me today Lana" Lu asked in a rush  
  
"Well baby girl Dr. Stow wants to see you in her office ASAP!"  
  
"I just got here I didn't think I had time to do anything wrong. What does she want is it serious?"  
  
"I don't know kid but good luck."  
  
"Thanks Lana I'm gonna need it!"  
  
"You better go baby.....she did say ASAP!"  
  
"your right"  
  
Lu walks down the curved hallway and up to Dana's door. She decides to be polite and knock instead of just barging in....Lu knocked on the door and was let in by a less than happy Dana. She knew before she even said anything that Dana was upset because of her lateness.  
  
"Where have you been? You're an hour late!" Dana nagged at her.  
  
"Excuse me miss prim and proper I told you when I took this job that my kids come first!! Lets get to the topic Dana. You needed to see me?"  
  
"Yes as a matter of fact I did."  
  
"(irritated that Dana was taking so long) Aaaannndddd..........."  
  
"Do you know a Michaela Jahavason?"  
  
"Yes I do how come?"  
  
"She came in 2 hours ago claiming to be your niece. ..........stomach ache, vomiting, dizziness, pain in the lower abdomen menstrual like cramps. She wouldn't let anyone else look at her.. She said that you are her doctor and that she wants you. Lu since when do you have a sister?"  
  
"I don't, Kayla is a friend of mine. She use to come over everyday and baby- sit for MJ. Her folks abused her real bad. Mom's a drunk and Dad deals drugs, they didn't even know that she was gone. She stayed with me for a while. I called CPS but they didn't do anything about it. I had a talk with her parents and things seemed to mellow out. I haven't seen or heard form her in about 2 weeks time period she said that she was going on vacation."  
  
"Well she's in room 123 waiting for you"  
  
"Thanks Dana"  
  
Lu hurries to room 123. When she gets into the room it appears that nobody is in there but then she hears a gagging sound coming form in the bathroom. She peeks her head into the open bathroom doorway and finds 15 year old Kayla purging over the toilet. Lu rushes over to help the weak teenager and holds her hair until she is finished.  
  
"Kayla! Honey are you ok?" Lu asks with alarm  
  
"Lu I was raped......I think I'm pregnant."  
  
Lu guides the frightened child over to the examination table and sits down there with her. Knowing that it is not right to push for information she asks Kayla simple questions hoping that she would open up to her Aunt Lu whom had also been through what she was going through.  
  
"Sweetheart look at me ( Lu gentle turns the child's head so it is facing her) I need to ask you some questions ok? Do you mind if I ask you some simple questions?"  
  
"Ok" Kayla is afraid but she knows that she can trust Lu.  
  
"Sweetie I know your frightened but I need to know when this happened and who did this to you"  
  
"It happened last week. My parents made me go to this wild party.......they made me do bad stuff Lu! (Kayla starts to cry and Lu holds her) They made me do bad stuff..........One of my Dads friends......he held me down and.......(Kayla's voice starts to break) and he raped me.( Kayla was hysteric by now ) he raped me Lu! ! When he was done I saw him give my Mom and Dad money........"  
  
Lu sees that Kayla can't go on with her story. She understood how the young girl felt. Beings as she too had been in Kayla's shoes not too long ago.  
  
"Kayla this is in no way your fault honey! Why didn't you come to me sooner?"  
  
"I...I....I 't Daddy said that If I told anyone that he would kill me I......I trust you Lu please don't tell Daddy that I was here.!.!.!.!.!"  
  
"Honey I'm going to have to call CPS, you know that right"  
  
"Don't!" Kayla screams crying "Lu please don't! If you do my dad will hurt me! Lu Please!"  
  
"Kayla! Kayla! Honey please calm down! I need you to calm down lets worry about you first we can take a pregnancy test and check to see if there was any tearing form what he did to you. We can do tests on you to test for internal tearing. We can't perform a rape kit on you honey you waited too long but we can do a pregnancy test on you." Lu speaks to the child calmly and soothingly wanting and longing to sooth the child's fear.  
  
"Will it hurt Lu"  
  
"It won't hurt much honey."  
  
1hr Later  
  
"ok honey were all done you sit tight while I take these samples up to the lab. I will be right back with the results."  
  
"Ok Lu"  
  
Lu hurries out of the hospital room and to the Lab. She knows that the test results wont take long and so she waits for them.  
  
Meanwhile at The Front Desk  
  
Marc drops MJ off at her play date a little early and heads for the clinic. She heads straight to Lana's desk. He had a worried look on his face meaning something bad has happened and he needs his mom's reassurance that everything is going to be ok.  
  
"my my you're here early Marc" Lana says in a playful tone to the 15 year old boy.  
  
"where's my mom?" Marc says in a upset voice.  
  
"she's with a patient right now honey but she should be done soon if you would like to....(thinking) what is it you kids call it now days? Oh yeah chill! If you would like to chill here for a little while your mom should be done soon."  
  
"alright Lana I'll chill here"  
  
Just then Lu comes out of the Lab with Kayla's test results and as she is walking by Lana's desk she sees her son sitting in the corner..  
  
"Hey Marc what's up where's MJ?"  
  
"at her play date"  
  
"(Noticing the troubled look on her son's face) Honey what's going on huh?"  
  
"mom who's Joanie Hanson? She's MJ's birth mom right?"  
  
"Yes she's MJ's biological mother why?" "she called the house"  
  
".........and.........."  
  
"and she said she wanted you to send MJ to Providence for a couple of days"  
  
"well Marc I'm going to have to talk to Syd about all this. "  
  
"mom?"  
  
"yeah?"  
  
"you cant sent MJ to stay with these people!"  
  
"I know your feeling hurt right now and you want to protect your baby sister but honey it wouldn't be forever just for a few days."  
  
"yeah I know but mom she gave MJ up when she was only 1 day old!"  
  
"Marc baby please understand. Joanie was only 12 when she got pregnant with MJ. She was only 13 years old when she gave birth! Marc that's so young she wasn't even out of Jr. High yet!"  
  
"I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOUR DEFENDING HER! THINK ABOUT IT MOM SHE HATED MJ SHE NEVER WANTED HER OR SHE WOULD HAVE KEPT HER! I AM NOT GOING TO LET MY BABY SISTER GO WITH THESE PEOPLE!"  
  
"Marc....I"  
  
Marc grabs his bags and hurries out of the clinic. He cant believe how stupid his mother can be . Well it didn't matter he wasn't going to let his baby sister go anywhere. And that is final.  
  
In Room 123  
  
Kayla is laying on the exam table crying. It seemed that all she could do is cry over the events that happened in the last week. She knew that she was pregnant. Even though she was only raped 1 week ago she knew what the 1st response tests would tell her. Lu walks in crying the test results in one hand. And a sad smile on her face.  
  
"Kayla honey I'm sorry! The tests showed the pregnancy hormone meaning that you are pregnant but just a little bit.....your about 1 week along. We need to start you on vitamins right away."  
  
"Lu why? My parents are going to kill me! I want to get an abortion! I don't want my parents to hurt me anymore then they already have Lu. Why don't you understand that?"  
  
"Kayla honey I know your afraid but I am going to have to call CPS on your parents. Honey your only 15 you have to be 18 before you can get an abortion without your legal parents signature."  
  
"(starts crying in a panicked way) Lu PLEASE don't call CPS on my parents! My dad said that he would kill me if I told anyone! Lu please!"  
  
"Kayla honey you have to worry about your well beings and the well beings of this little baby that you have inside of you. If you go back to your parents do you really feel that it would be safe for you and the baby to live there getting beat and raped?"  
  
"so your saying all this is my fault?"  
  
"No honey! This is not your fault! It is never your fault! The victims of rape are NEVER to blame! Do you understand me Kayla? Look at me! Kayla its not your fault!"  
  
"Then what do you want me to do I cant raise a baby on my own."  
  
"Kayla listen.......I will help you raise the baby......you can come live with me and we can raise the baby together....I will help you....please let me help you. Meanwhile we need to get you into a support group so you can talk about everything that's going on."  
  
"I ain't going to no support group Lu."  
  
"I went to one after I was raped Kayla....It really helped me to get on with my life. Go home and get some supplies then you can come stay at my house in the spare bedroom."  
  
"Lu....."  
  
"yeah?"  
  
"thanks" 


	4. Lu Gets Caught

Twisted Events Chapter 4- Lu Gets Caught  
  
Dr. Louisa Delgado, who is tired and hungry form skipping breakfast (due to lateness and coming to work instead of eating) goes up to the cafeteria on her lunch break, grabs a quick food binge and then hurries to the 1st floor ladies room because of a nauseating sensation that was caused by eating and then purging for the last few years. She hurries into the ladies room, not bothering to check to see if anyone was in there with her, kneels down in the stall, inserts her fingers in her thought and purges, letting her food binge come up. She does this 10 times until she is coughing up water and blood and she knows that it is all gone. She feels light headed like she is about to pass out.  
  
Someone comes up behind her. She can feel their eyes staring at her but she doesn't hear anyone and so she figures that she is just imaging things. She inserts her fingers into her mouth one more time, coughs up more water and blood and then stands up. She is lightheaded, she is dizzy, she feels like she is about to faint. She steadies herself on the stall wall and then turns around to find Lana Hawkins there watching her.  
  
"How long have you been there?" Lu asks with an attitude  
  
"Lana's been here long enough to see you make yourself sick.... Baby how long has this been going on? Throwing up blood is not a good sign."  
  
"That is none of your dam business Lana. This is my key to success, to perfection, to thinness, and I'll be dammed if you mess it up."  
  
Despite Lu's rudeness Lana Doesn't give up on her. Lu realizes that they are still standing in the stall and Lana is blocking her way out. She is getting hot and pissed off and is trying to get out of the stall.  
  
"LET ME OUT OF HERE!"  
  
"(Backing up) Come on baby girl let Lana help you get cleaned up."  
  
Lu washes her face and her hands. Then she takes a travel-sized toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and mouth wash out of her purse. She brushes, floss, and then gargles with the mouthwash.... When she is done she places a piece of winter fresh bubble gum in her mouth. Lana is staring at her best friend in disbelief at how prepared she is.  
  
"Baby talk to me" Lana tells Lu in a bossy worried tone  
  
"What do you want me to say?"  
  
"Well for starters you can tell me why your doing this to yourself"  
  
"There's nothing to tell Lana"  
  
"LU I DEMAND THAT YOU SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU!"  
  
"I have patients to see Lana"  
  
Lu brushes past Lana and out of the bathroom. Lana follows Lu to the front desk and sits down.  
  
"I need to see a patient file for Michaela Jahavason" Lu commanded in a bossy tone. 


	5. Temptation

Chapter 5- Temptation

Robert (AKA DR JACKSONLu's boss and long term fiancé since his wife died of MS 2 years ago) walked up to Lana's desk and quietly snuck up behind Lu and wrapped his muscular arms around her bony waist , he gently kissed her on the cheek before she turned around.

"Hey baby , I haven't seen you since I left this morning how are you?" Robert asks Lu in a sweet and gentle way, which simply told Lu that he loved her.

"(lying) I'm fine how are you?" Lu responded in a sexy tone

"Not so fine" (Seeing through her lie)

"(same sexy tone) Why not Babe?"

"Because your not fine Honey. Its apparent that something's bothering you. What is it?"

"I can't talk about it right now"

"Why not?"

"Because I love you too much."

"Well I love you too baby. ( passionately kissing her on the lips) I want to help you.....But in order to help you I have to know what's the matter."

"I already told you I cant talk about it right now because I love you too much."

Bob takes her and holds her by her bony shoulders so that she is facing him.

"Lu I love you. Do you love me?"

"Yes of course I do but........"

"(Cutting her off) then why can't you tell me what's the matter with you?"

"Because honey....(In a playful tone) If I tell you then I'll have to kill you."

"Ha! Ha! Very funny **_Dr. Delgado_**" Bob responds back sarcastically

"Oh! Were back to Dr. Delgado are we?"

"Yes Ma'am until you tell me what's going on."

"(kisses him passionately for 5 minutes without stoping.) I already told you I cant tell you because I love you too much and I don't want to loose you."

"Why **_Dr. Delgado_**? Are you sick? Are u dieing?" Bob asks in fear. He loved her very much and he didn't want to loose her like he lost his wife.

"No I'm not dieing."

"Are you having an affair?"

"No I love you and only you Robert Jackson. You know that."

"Then what is it baby? What is so bad that it would make me not love u anymore?"

"(Lu grabs Bob and starts to kiss him) I love you. And I would tell you but I don't want to loose you........that's how much I love you."

"I love you too."

"WOAH! WOAH!" Lana breaks in "Take it outside! You love sick puppies! Its not professional to be making out in the lobby."

"Were........not........making..........out...." Lu protests out of breath form the kiss

"Yeah , Yeah." Lana replies smartly

"Come on Dr. Jackson lets take this into my office.

**In Lu's Office**

"So what's bothering you baby?" Bob tried again

"You must really be ready to die today aren't you?" Lu responded in a seductive voice.

"No but I am worried about you."

"Theres nothing to worry about... really I'm fine don't worry about me."

Lu and Bob start making out passionately on the couch and are only brought apart by a firm knock on the door and the sound of Lu's pager going off.

"Cant you just let it go just this once?"

"Nope sorry babe duty calls." Lu responded boldly

Lu straightens her hair and clothes and Robert does the same. When they are both cleaned up , Lu walks to the door and nearly collides with Dana who (tiard of knocking) came on in just as Lu was going out.

"You should really watch where I'm going" Lu replied upset at Dana for interrupting therm during their moment of aloneness.

"You should really quit hogging the boss. I need to talk to him about some patients and he's in her with you. GO FIGURE." Dana responds in a voice as cold as ice.

"sorry queen bee but we will have to finish this conversation later. ER need me STAT." Lu responds sarcastically.

"FINE!"

"Don't think your off the hook Dr. Delgado well finish this conversation later at home. "

"Whatever boss man" Only ½ Jokeing

Lu rushes through the ER doors.

"someone paged me?"

"It was me Lu!" Ken called running over to her.

"What do we got Ken?"

"Female, 4, fell out of a tree house, BP, CTS, normal, no internal bleeding or damage she has some mild bruising..."

They are now at the patient.

"OMG" Lu cries "That's my daughter! That's MJ. MJ can you hear me?"

"It hurts! Mommy it hurts. Mommy make it stop hurting please!" MJ cried to her mommy. MJ was scared and it showed.

"What hurts baby? What hurts?"Lu asked MJ quickly.

"My foot! Mommy my foot hurts"

"Ok! I need 5 mg morphine stat!" Lu yells at the nurses and doctors that are neighboring her daughter.

"Mommy I'm scared!" MJ cried solftly.

"Its Ok Sweetie! Were going to give you some medicine for the pain. It will probably make you sleepy. Once you are sleeping were going to have a look at your ankle. Don't be afraid mommy's right here."

"We've got a broken ankle here. I need it wraped and iced. STAT PEOPLE!" Just then Lu's pager goes off.

"I have to go the clinic needs me! Call me if there are ANY changes. If not then I will be back in a few minutes. Can you handle that?" Lu replied to ken who was stareing at her. "You should really take a picture it would last longer."

"No sorry why would I want a pic of you? Yes I can handle it! I have been at this hospital for 30 years. I don't know what the hell is bothering you but you are being a little bitch and it BETTER change before I see you again.!.!.!."

"FINE!"

Lu's pager goes off again. This time it says 9-11

Sorry I haven't updated In so long everyone! Please be patient I have school and homework. I need 6 reviews before I can update please! Hope you enjoy.

If you have any questions or flames please email them to me at rather then posting them on the review page.

THANKS!


	6. How Do I Help You?

Twisted Dreams

Shattered Dreams

Chapter 6- How Do I Help You?

It was now around 9:00, quitting time for the day. Robert had already gone and taken Kayla home with him and Lu was soon to follow.

Lu walked out to her car and started the engine, she smiled when she heard the gentle purr of the new car's engine, as she started it up and drove down the road.

Robert greeted Lu at the front door and helped her inside.

"Marc and M.J. are already asleep. Lu I need to talk to you. Lana told me what happened today at the clinic." Bob said in an unsure voice.

"I need to talk to you too" silent tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"What's going on Lu?" Bob asked as they set together on the couch.

Silent tears streamed down her face. Her fiancé was so worried about her. How does she tell him that she makes herself throw up?

"Tell me what's going on" he tried again. "I'm here to listen. Were not leaving this couch until you tell me." He threatened.

"baby.....I.....I.....I.....I'm bu-um I'm bul....im bulemic." She finally sputtered out. Knowing that she had no other choice but to tell him.

"WHAT?" Bob, who had been holding her let go and held her at arms length.

"Baby I am bulimic, I have an eating-disorder." Lu said in a tone just above a whisper.

"Lu.....Baby....Why?.....How did you let this happen to u?" Bob asked lu firmly.

"I.....I.....Cant talk about it....." Lu said inbetween sobs.

"I'm here to listen to you.....please tell me what's the matter."

"It all started after the rape. I started feeling like a fat, worthless, nogood, piece of shit. I felt that maybe if I was thinner I would be better......I am soo bad....I hate me Robert. You will never understand.....I don't even understand."

"We all thought you were getting better. You seemed so much happier. Was it because you had this deep dark secret?"

Lu nodds sheepishly

"Lu we have to get you help. Lu you've been so sick lately. So tired, so un yourself. You barley have energy for yourself because you use it all on your patients and on the kids."

"NO"

"no what?"

"no....i'm fine I don't need help"

"yes you do."

"no....i really don't"

"Ither you go get help form Dana or I am starting you in immidate inpatient care."

Robert knew that this would work cuz Lu couldent stand to be away from her patients for even one day.

"If I go and see Dana will it get you off my back?"

"No but it'll help"

"FINE"

"I'll make sure you do see her 2morrow."


	7. Love In The 1st Degree

Twisted Events

Shattered Dreams

Chapter 7- Love In The 1st Degree

Bob opened his eyes and blinks a few times trying to get his eyes to adjust to the sunlight streaming into the room. He finally gives up willing the curtains to close themselves and turns over on his side. He props his head on his hand, watching her sleep. He loves watching her sleep. He could do it for a lifetime and never become bored. She looks so peaceful, so angelic. He trails his fingers through her hair lazily.

He smiles as her eyes open and close a few times. "Why didn't we close the curtains last night?" she mumbles as her eyes close again.

Bob giggles softly before responding. "Probably because it wasn't sunny out last night." He points out. Bob laughs as her eyes continue to flutter open and shut. He knows the feeling of not being totally awake. Finally she opens her eyes and locks her beautiful brown gaze on his.

"How can you be so cheery in the morning?" she grumbled

He lets out another laugh as she squeezes her eyes shut, trying once more to go back to sleep.

"The same way that you're so grumpy." He replied in a gentle tone.

Lu's eyes remain shut as she stuck out her lower lip in the most adorable pout. "I'm not grumpy," she protested.

Bob leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips "You are and you know it." He taunts as he pulls away and stands up.

Lu flung her arm back before offering him a tiny smirk. "Fine I am but it's my job." She retorted.

Dr. Jackson arches and eyebrow at her as he begins to dress. He grins as she moves her arm a little bit more and her eyes watched his every move. He loved the way she watches him. He couldn't explain it but it made him feel secure.

"Its your job to be grumpy?" he repeated, "How did you get that job?" He asks with a smile

Lu moved her arm completely and sat up slowly. "Simple. Your cheery and perky in the mornings, its your job. And since were oh-so-different its my job to be grumpy and very non-perky." She reasoned with a nod as she continued on in a serious tone. "Not only is it my job, its my duty."

Bob really did try his best to keep a straight face through her logic but he just couldn't help himself. He busts out laughing. "Great reasoning honey." He nods at her like he believes her when she knows perfectly well that he was just humoring her.

They have conversations like this every morning. Always vexing her grumpiness to his sunshineness as she calls it. There is no end or beginning to the argument, no winners or losers. It's just become part of their morning routine and its rather fun.

**20 Minutes Later.**

Bob finds Lu in the bedroom, standing in front of her closet in nothing but a towel, looking deep in thought.

"What are you doing?" he asks her

"Trying to figure out something to where" she replied as she leaned back into his embrace.

"I like what you have on." He replied as he buried his face in her neck.

Lu let out a small laugh. "I bet you do...But I doubt we would be going any where for a very long time."

Bob wrinkled his nose as he considered that. "I don't see the harm in that." He stated with a Horney grin.

"I thought you wanted to do something productive on your day off. I thought you had places to go and people to see." She started "who am I to argue?" she finished in a singsong voice as she turned around in his arms. He slowly pulled away form her looking at his watch.

"Your right so can you hurry up a little beauty queen? We have to get you into see Dana." Bob sighed as he threw his arms back and feel backwards onto the bed watching her.

She let out a small whimper of disappointment and opened her eyes. "Your evil" she responded. He wisent sure if she was talking about him pulling away or the fact he was forcing her into medical treatment.

He flashed her his best smile "yup you bet I am but you know you love me anyways." He gave her a innocent smile.

"Yup your right. But I don't love your actions do I really have to go see Dana?" Lu whined like a little child.

"You know what I told you. Would you rather go see Dana or be put into immediate impatient care?"

"But I wanta be with you and my patients." Lu whined as she gave Bob an adorable little smile.

"Sorry baby but you have to do this. You have to get better. I love u Lu. I don't want u to get hurt." Robert told her regretfully. "I don't wanta loose you too."


	8. Let It Out

Shattered Dreams

Chapter 8- Lu's Best Feature

Robert gently knocked on Dana's office door and then just barged on in. He found Dana and then just rushed on in. He found something that completely shocked him. He found Dana and Nick passionately making out on the couch.

"oh! Bob! Lu!" Dana exclaimed as she hurried to make herself decent.

Dana's face flushed at least 10 different shades of red as she hurried and ushered Nick out of the office.

"Ok Lu! I need you to hop up onto the exam table for me please." Dana said in a more professional tone.

"I'm not 2 years old Dana!" Lu exclaimed in a snappish tone.

"fine fine" Dana said. Lu's snappish attitude was really beginning to hurt her.

"LADIES" Bob warned

"Dr. Jackson would you like to leave?" Dana asked

"No I want to be here with Lu."

"Ok fine then zip it." Dana snapped "Lu I need you to tell me how long you have been doing this stuff to yourself."

"since after the rape." Lu responded coldly. You could tell she didn't want to be there. There was about 1,000,000 places she would rather be then sitting in Dana's office.

"alright (handing Lu a gown.) I need you to strip down into nothing but this gown. I will be right here watching you so don't try anything funny. I know all the tricks."

Before Lu had left the house she had filled her wonder bra up with about what seemed like 10 lbs of water.

"Damn it DANA! Why do I have to do this?" Lu asked in a pissed off tone. "I told you I'm fine!"

"obaslly your not fine."

"IM FINE!"

Lu changed into the gown and then huffally sat down on the exam table.

"nope" Dana judged looking carefully at Lu.

"nope what?"

"take off the wonder bra."

"what?"

"the wonder bra."

"how did you know that...."

"I'm not an idiot. Nobody who is as skinny as you are could have boobs as big as that. It is physically logically imposable." Dana replied before Lu could finish her sentence.

Lu finally got dressed properly and Dana had her step up onto the scale. Dana weighed her backwords so that she couldent see what she weighed. Dana made some notes on the chart and then told Lu to step down. She took Lu's temp. and did all the other proper tests that were needed in that situation but when she went to take some blood Lu wouldne't let her.

"Lu I have to take some blood to finish up the tests. You know that." Dana reached out for Lu's arm, But when she did Lu snached it away.

"Lu" Dana tried again "I know your scared but hone its "ok" Were going to get you through this. Just let me take some blood we can fix this. Lu let me in. Let me help you."

"STOP TRYING TO FIX ME DANA IM NOT BROKEN! I HAVE A PROBLAM WITH FOOD! SO WHAT? WHO GIVES A FUCK? YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN JUST FUCK OFF I DON'T NEED YOU I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP. JUST LET ME GO.....LET ME DIE."


	9. Lu's Best Feature

May 25, 2004 6:30pm

I asked my friend this afternoon as I gazed into my reflection,

What she thought of what I saw she said,

"Images are usually misconceptions",

I started putting down my appearance, wishing I were thinner or taller,

She looked at me with understanding eyes and said,

"Superficial wishes only make you smaller."

I knew she was right but who was she to talk for she was every guys dream,

I tried to point this out to her and she replied,

"Appearances aren't always what they seem",

"Tell me five things you admire about yourself" She requested,

And I knew my troubles had just begun,

For I saw the hurt in her expression when I couldn't think of even one,

I couldn't think of a single feature I liked,

And I could feel my stomach slowly start to sink,

So I turned to my friend and simply replied,

"Well what do you think?"

"I think your looking at it all wrong" She said, " And I wish I could make it clearer it's what's inside that really counts not what you see in the mirror. You're the most loving person I know and I hate to see you fall apart. If you ask me what your best feature is your best feature is your heart."


	10. Feelings,Thoughts, and Emotions

Thoughts And Reflections

The next day when Lu went to work she could barley look Dana in the eyes. She was ashamed of the way she acted, but she as not ready to admit she needed help. She sat at her desk and reflected the events that had happened over the last couple of days. On Monday she was already on thin ice with Dana because she was late for work becuase of her daughters B-day, then later that same day her daughter MJ feel out of a tree and broke her ankle, at the same time as she was trying to help her daughter there was a shoot out at the clinic and 4 people were injured. She tried to help those people but Lana held her down so hard that she was unable to move and had black and blue handprints on her arms from where Lana was holding her. She also found out that same day that a young girl who had been baby sitting for her daughter for the last 4 years and who was a good friend of the family's got raped, and impregnated by her fathers friend, Lu took the young girl in and now she was liveing with her. Lana caught her purging in the bathroom, and Bob had forced her to go see Dana and try to seek treatment. Lu knew she needed help but if she went into the hospital who would take care of her babies? They couldent care for themselfs. She had no clue what to do or where to turn. She kept blameing herself for the things that had happened, kept asking herself questions that would later only lead to her downfall. She thought of all these things as she sat at her desk in her office, with her hands supporting her head, her hair hideing her face.

* * *

"We need to help Lu." Dana started off as Lana, Peter, Bob, and herself walked into the empty breakroom and sat down at the table. 

"No kidding!" Dr. Jackson said in a sarcastic tone "What do you prepose we do?"

"Im not sure.We all know she needs to be in treatment but she won't go. Shes an adult she can make her own choices, we cant force her."

"We'll just have to wait and see." Lana imputed "There is nothing we can do but be her friend and support her. Thats all we can do honey."

"We can't just give up on her. Anorexia and Bulemia is very scary. It is very dangerous. We can't let her just fall like this. She is slowley killing herself."

"Just give her time"

"We dont have time. Lu dosen't have time!"

* * *

Ok everybody I dont know what do yall think? I want to try and fix the mistakes in the chapters ahead of this but I dont know how? Does anyone else know how you can edit and fix chapters that you already put up? Ok well I'll try! Please READ AND REVIEW! 


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